The above links will lead you to sites on both sides of the debate over Zero Tolerance in schools. I leave it to you to read them, make your own conclusions.
I won’t summarize them, but give you some observations:
A school with a strongly worded rules on dress code and school behavior online, with the consequences for infractions clearly stated. Syllabi/Lesson Plans, posted online as well, readdressing the same concerns. The conduct rules are posted in the main office as well.
What was seen: two students being taken out of the school in hand cuffs by police officers; not one student dressed in the very well laid out dress code (hoodies and hats were worn; scarves as head wear; tee shirts with graphics; etc); students walking around the hallways by the front door guard, near the main office, sitting on the floor; a school official hugging a student (one “rule” was “no contact between students of any type, hugging mentioned); a student walking into the office, talking to a secretary, her trying to send him on his way to class but he cut his class, as he came back in less than fifteen minutes later to “hang out”; and during the classroom change, uncountable number of cell phones and electronics being used in a school they are supposedly banned.
This was one school, but I’ve seen variations played out in many.
I made a mention of this, at times. to various teachers or staff, and the answer is almost always the same: a shrug of the shoulders, or the complaint that no one enforces it, or they can’t enforce them. They don’t get support from any number of sources (parents, the principal, whoever).
I’ve also seen schools where the parents are very involved and supportive, where the rules of conduct and dress are enforced. Are there still problems? Of course. You are dealing with a wide variable of situations. Yet, when rules don’t matter, consequences are basically non-existent…
I haven’t written here in quite awhile. Observing what I have in the last half a year (really, last four years) has sometimes left me dumbstruck. This experience just left me shaking my head.
A 68 year young bus monitor, in upstate New York, was verbally assaulted by a group of Middle School (MS) students. The abuse was caught on video and broadcast on YouTube and all over Facebook and Twitter. According to the article/CNN report, the students will be facing disciplinary actions, and the police are involved in this action.
I’m sure, by now, you’ve seen or heard about the video. The CNN link above only has a fraction of it, and I would not post the entirety of it here. The students who did this need consequences for their actions, not further hits on the video. I do send out my thoughts to the woman who was attacked. My hope is she can find some strength in the fact that she held her own, did not sink to their level and attack back, and that the majority of those sounding off on this are on her side.
We have our share of bullies in all age groups, in all parts of our society. Yet, the majority of our focus is on the school bullies. When I went looking for bully images to use with this post, there were few images that dealt with adults: one adult yelling at a group of kids; one woman berating another. The rest were signage, the red line through the word BULLY and the like.
Alongside issues of bullying in schools, which is desperately needed, I feel all adults (Parents, the workforce, police, politicians, teachers, principals, etc etc etc) need the same sort of awareness programs, if not more so. Not only do they need to learn how to properly deal with this behavior from students, the adults need to see what THEY do that constitutes bullying.
I saw it in action, recently, in working with an older population group. I have seen it in action in schools and business. It seems to be not only a common practice from management to workers at times, but along the peer level. Bullying tactics are not relegated to just children.
Adult bullies, to other adults &/or children, is a seen behavior that is picked up by the young. If an adult does it with little to no consequence, then why can’t a kid? They may not go through that exact thought process, but it’s there: we teach our children outright what we want them to learn, but we are not careful about the rest of our actions, what they observe and take in.
I think we need to label bullying, if we have to label at all, for what it truly is: a hate crime.
Bullying wasn’t okay in elementary school and it isn’t okay now, especially when it comes in the form of a U.S. Supreme Court decision. John Doolittle
Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away.
― Donna Schoenrock
Here are two student video reactions to the bullying of the bus monitor.
As of May 5th, 2012, over $419,000,000 (that is 419 MILLION US dollars) has been contributed to all candidates to run for the position of the President of the USA. Combined, not just one party, so I am not playing favorites here.
$419,000,000
Instead of bombarding us with ads and campaigning, wouldn’t it be lovely if that amount of money went somewhere else…oh, like say create or keep 8,038 teaching jobs (at $50,000 for the school year) for one year, or over 11,000 jobs paying as low as $35,000 a year?
Yeah, drop in the bucket, one may say…but to those 8,000 to 11,000? No, it would be a big deal.
Hard to judge who should get it, where it should go, etc etc etc…yes, it is, especially with so many out of work: According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics:
Household Survey Data
Both the number of unemployed persons (12.5 million) and the unemployment rate (8.1 percent) changed little in April
Splitting all that money amongst all unemployed would only garner a check for $35.52. Not much of a help for anyone (well, for someone starving…).
I would rather see that money at least go to something good, something that would be helping others.
I would rather the President’s $191,000.000 fund education, or the Arts (yes, my personal bias: those in the arts need to live too), medical/health care, anti-violence/hate crime programs, the elderly, or something that would help other people. Better that then take up advertising time, spin negative ads against Romney, and such.
THAT would be the person I want running this country. Raise money from those who are fighting being taxed fairly and use that money for the common good.
No religious, political or personal agenda: just helping others.
You can believe in what you want. As long as it’s not hateful or harmful to others, I’ll even listen to your POV if you promise not to try to ram it down my throat, or try to convince me that your belief is the only right way.
Democrats and Republicans do many wrong things, for the wrong reasons: there are lobbies/big money that have no concerns for the people of this country, only profits.
The blame game is what is hurting this country. I read a series of posts on FB, an anti-President Obama thread, that were volatile and negative spewing. The main thrust was, from the person who started the thread, that he feels all Republicans should say NO to anything coming from an opposing POV.
No listening and judge on individual merits; no attempt to compromise; no attempt to work for the betterment of all the people in the country. Just Say NO was his mantra…and then he and others complained that “the liberals” only spout and don’t listen and run away from a fight.
[Side Bar: As to arguments about Bush Bashing...one thing to disagree with the man, which I do. I have my reasons: my two biggest complaints are: his getting the news of the 9/11 attacks and just sitting dumbfounded in a Kindergarten classroom, not making a move, not directing the country, not showing any action; the second is, when asked about his greatest achievement in office, he talks about a fish he caught. Joke or not, to me, it's not funny. I'm not even going to go into the economic state of the union he left for whoever won the election to pick up after him. Nope. Not going there.]
Before any civil rights acts, inter-racial marriages were forbidden, as were inter-religious ones. They were, for those days, their own “war on marriage” which, yes, I have seen slogans for.
The President spoke his mind and made a stand: he believes in same sex marriage. He did not say any other state of marriage should be nullified, nor did he exclude anyone. He did not say, in any way, that this was a war on marriage. He did not say we all must believe as he did. Many won’t, and that is their prerogative. He is, if anything, advocating the civil rights of the “rest” of the country for consenting adults in love to get married.
If you don’t want to be married to someone of the same sex, or a different religion, or a different skin color, or a different nationality, then: JUST DON’T. But, don’t impose your own POV on someone else.
Why then, as a straight man, am I so behind repealing an amendment based on hatred and bigotry?
I’m also a JEWISH male, and if anyone wants to talk about history of abuse and hatred against a people, then let’s talk. We got ya beat by thousands of years.
It’s time to let things that are NOT important to the running of a country go, and focus on what we can do POSITIVELY and for the GOOD OF THE PEOPLE. The civil rights of American Citizens are being crushed under foot by those who say they love this country.
You love this country, then show it. Stop forcing your negative religious beliefs on others and do something positive with all that energy.
Fight poverty
Fight human trafficking
Fight hunger
Fight injustice (and you better believe this is injustice)
Fight for a stronger economy
Fight to bring our schools back to a place of prominence
Fight for a way to bring this country together, instead of continuously tearing it apart
Education (providing the best; promoting and supporting a healthy structure)
Unemployment
Health Care for all
…the list can go on, and please feel free to add on to the list of “Important Things.”
Yet, we as a nation focus on something that is NOT Important in how the country is run, how the lives of the people are improved on, how we can help to strive for a better future. We seem to be fixated on something that obfuscates real issues:
Who Can Marry Whom.
Used to be interracial marriages were illegal. Inter-religious ones were kinda verboten. Segregation issues (against Blacks, Jews, etc) were the standards. All along these lines, those barriers came down, and…unless it is hit with personal prejudices and bias, had not affected your life in any real way. You may not like it, still, but really: beyond sensibilities…?
If marriage is so sanctified (there again: marriage is NOT only a religious ceremony, and hasn’t been for a long time: civil court marriages anyone?) then why do so many heterosexual couplings end in divorce? Why do so many wind up cheating on their spouse (Yeah, looking at you, Newt)? Why do so many in POWER (talking money power too) think it gives them the right to abandon that sanctity for the trophy wife, the mistress, the pursuit of affairs outside of wedded bliss? How many heterosexual wives were jettisoned for younger models, straying outside of “under God”, etc?
So, about me…
I’m not gay
I’m not Black
I’m not a woman (which also brings up: why can OLD men in the Senate tell a woman what she can do with her body?)
I’m not overly political, but I lean more towards the Democrats than Republicans; I feel Libertarians have more to add to the discussion, but are too extreme for what we are now.
I AM for HUMAN rights and freedoms, ones that have nothing to do with a political agenda but one that should strive for the betterment of humankind. Except for committing violence against myself or others, I have no right to say to another: “hey, I don’t like you doing that, it offends me, so I will stop you from doing it.” I just don’t have that right.
Thomas Jefferson wrote the phrase about “separation of church and state,” and while it is not in any formal document, I feel it should be.
The freedom of religion and of speech is set in constitutional stone; you can believe in what you want, and say it as well, but don’t push it on me.
I may not (and don’t, in this case) share your point of view.
Repel Amendment One, and put all this effort into something that will help other people, not bog us down in negative things.
What would happen if we put this much energy into doing something positive?
Taking a short hiatus from things can be good, now and then. I’ve wondered what to do with this blog: the guest posts have given me a wonderful respite, allowing me time to get better as well as well lend time to write when I felt like it, as opposed to just churning out something to post.
So…a huge thank you to all who have already guest blogged here, and to the ones that I still have in wait. I’m going to set up that schedule soon.
As to right now, I again find myself questioning directions for the next segment of my life. I am tired of all the negative chatter that surrounds us; doing something, anything, is preferable than sitting in a corner (to me). I am not sure if this is the proper forum for achieving any goals.
Is blogging just another Tower of Babel?
I took on the mantle of blogging just a wee bit more than a year ago: “get an internet presence!” was what my (then, hopeful) agent said to me, as well as others. In that year time, I am still not sure what greater good this has done for me or anyone else. So…
Now that I have that down, I need to take another step back, post the guest posts I have in hand, and figure out “What Comes Next.”
One thing: I commented on Bonnie Copeland’s (My Rivendell) The Foundations of Character post about what I feel breaks down character. I do think we are lacking in character, overall, and bend to who shouts the loudest. I called it a “non-community of yellers”, the age we’re living in.
Listen—really listen to someone’s POV. Place your own concerns aside for the moments it takes to really click with where someone is coming from. Communicate back: don’t condemn, place judgement (moral or religious or political) and LISTEN. Ask questions “Why?” or ask for clarification.
Does it take time? Sure, a bit more. But…we’d all be better off if we agreed to really hear what someone else has to say, really try to care why they feel that way.
Thanks for all of your support. It DOES mean a lot.
Do you: Go with your gut reaction? Weigh the pros & cons, and come to a decision you can back up and justify? Do you follow what your friends/family/confidants say &/or do, without question? Do you go against what you believe due to outside pressure?
On my way home from a great Interactive Theater workshop in NYC, I turned on the local NPR station (WNYC 93.9 FM). The program This American Life was on, and just in time: I had been hearing the teasers for the program and was hoping to catch it. A group of 5th graders (ten/eleven years old) were undergoing an amazing Process Drama:
“What if, say, the U.S.-led invasion of Grenada in 1983 had been decided, not by Ronald Reagan, but by a bunch of middle-schoolers?”
The students were led on an amazingly detailed program. Three rooms were set up for them: a press room, a command center, and the President’s office/war room. Split into three groups, the students were in role, being asked to make the hard decisions that adults with “experience” in these matters had struggled with almost thirty years ago.
I don’t want to spoil it for you. I included the link above (first one) so you can listen to the program (there are two other “acts”: one with a 14 year old discussing Global Climate changes and a school in Brooklyn that is governed by…the students). I hope after you listen you’ll come back here and leave some comments.
The second link is from the blog Woman Wielding Words about an amazing experience with practicing drama with kids from a very different culture.
The third link: really, the nuts and bolts of what I love to do with students: have them make personal discoveries and to think for themselves. Weigh it all out, find out what they feel is right or wrong, and then also look at how someone else see’s the same situation; How it is sometimes hard to make a decision at all.
There are applications for Arts in Education in all core curricula, as there is in Art in all aspects of life. That is part of what creativity comes into play.
I have had (and have many in the waiting) some great – and I mean GREAT – guest blogs for my creativity series. Yesterday was no exception, but a comment by Maureen of Zencherry got to me, as well as many of the comments to yesterday’s post.
I have an example of kindergarten happy turning to first grade bricks.
Youngest child: Teacher pinned a naughty badge on his shirt, (on the first day of school), and made him wear it all through the day and then on the bus home to me because he “sang in the bathroom”. It said it in big red letters on his badge.
Yesterday’s Guest Blogger, Lisa Kramer, of Woman Wielding Words, commented and said exactly how I feel: “That makes my heart hurt. “ Lisa also declared it a Sing In The Bathroom Day for her family.
I’m taking it one step further: I hereby declare a “National Sing Everywhere Movement”!
If you go back among my posts you’ll see that I have endorsed the fact that we can all sing, dance, paint, CREATE!!!
Too many times creativity and exploration is deemed unacceptable and does not fit the norm of what’s expected in school, work, and life. To these fuddy-duddies, I give a great big raspberry (and in some cases a certain raised middle finger); I just don’t have the words to describe in a public forum like this how I feel about that teacher who, to me, exemplifies all that is wrong with our education system and corporate system. Yes, there is lots more “wrong” in both – just what was done to Maureen’s kid really rankles me.
NAUGHTY BADGE
SINGING IN THE BATHROOM
(Don’t let it out, but…I do not know how to make a badge. If anybody knows how to, they can use what I’ve just done above and I would be honored to display it and give it out to all you naughty creative people).
SING OUT LOUD
FINGER PAINT ON THE WALLS
DANCE LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW
BE CREATIVE… WEAR THE NAUGHTY BADGE PROUDLY!!!!!!!!
Don’t EVER let someone shame you from doing something that is not causing anyone else harm.
I have PLENTY of stories of adult BULLIES who have shamed me, from childhood on. ADULT BULLIES.
This is a problem that needs to be addressed on the same level we try to do with the kids.
“We look at parents as partners. We’re partners in working towards their kids’ success. The last thing we want to do is to get in this adversarial relationship, but when you’ve exhausted every available option, there must be some bottom line, and there must be some point where you say you must obey the law.”
Education of and for the children is 24/7, 365 days a year. Period. It does not happen solely in the school building, or whatever “institution of education” you subscribe to. If a parent is NOT involved, then they are not doing their job. It’s a shame so many have to work with hardships (financial; little to no familial support; etc). I do empathize. BUT…once you’ve brought a child onto this planet, YOU have a commitment that has to override everything else: take care of the kid, show him/her discipline, focus, love, and leading a proper path (which to me is do no harm to yourself or others, and work to the best of your abilities..and then go one step more).
When you baby your babies, you are doing them harm. When you force the school systems to baby your babies, you are really doing them harm. When you support your child’s laziness and bad habits, you are doing them harm. When you threaten but do not follow through with ANY type of consequence, you are doing them harm. When you reward your baby for doing what they are supposed to do, you are doing them harm. When you create an adversarial relationship with your partner-THE SCHOOL & TEACHERS ARE YOUR PARTNER-, you are doing a tremendous amount of harm.
If you don’t see any of the above as actual problems in your parenting style, then you are REALLY doing them, your babies, your children, your charges, your wards, your life… harm.
There are many parents to applaud. I do really believe that, with everything I write. I also believe that there are many teachers, administrators and school systems that are applaud worthy. I do. They need the press MORE than the negative ones that make me and others like me vent.
We should Celebrate more then rehash our venting, so…
I HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR ALL OF YOU:
Write a paragraph or so and send it to me about an AMAZING parent/teacher partnership; an amazing parent/school partnership; ANY outstanding Parent/Education partnership.
I really want to write about these things and post them, especially as we are soon ready to enter the new school year.
Let US know. Send me that email and YOUR story, or another, will become it’s own posting.
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame. ~Erica Jong
Truth be told, I rarely ever had to deal with the dreaded P word: Parents. Being a Drama Specialist CERTIFIED teacher, I mainly saw the parents of my Drama Club, and they were the supportive ones. I saw the one or two disgruntled “NOT MY CHILD!“ Parents over the years, but I learned how to build relationships with them. We talked about why I graded them the way I did, we discussed, etc. I really only had one parent walk away that her child’s behavior (poor) was my fault, even though she said the kid did the same at home. If you just went “Huh?”..yeah, me too. There are a LOT of the clueless walking around.
When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself. ~Louis Nizer
I am going to admit something a good many of you might get upset with me about: after numerous attempts to get a cast of 44 quiet for starting the last dress rehearsal, and I mean NUMEROUS, I said the dreaded: “SHUT UP!!” You may disagree with me, but guess what: after way over five mins (most likely more, not less), that “Shut Up!” got them quiet, and we were able to finally move on. So, call me Machiavelli if you must (and yes, I do know he is only credited with the saying), the means did justify the end result.
Yes, string me up from the tallest yard arm, flog me, tar and feather me, but…really, I am very, very tired of the PC garbage. I am tired of educators (esp Elementary) babying the kids, which only reinforces the immaturity levels we have. I am tired that we have to be scared of parents, that instead of making working healthy partnerships, we have another adversarial situation more times than not.
I had a parent in my face yesterday about my “Shut Up!” While I DID apologize for saying what I did, she was not taking that, and I got a whole tirade on how unprofessional I am, how SHE would never do that (she’s a teacher in NYC DOE and has her own dance school), what a wonderful talented kid she has, and on and on and on..and really, all she wanted to do was tell me off. That’s ok in itself: she was angry. She was not into having a discussion, a dialogue. She wanted to vent on me, and she did.
Now, the fact that her daughter has back talked all the instructors and counselors, walks around in a mopey mood, complains about the food, the trips, the activities, the play, that she didn’t get the part she wants, that the part she got was “beneath her” (Mom’s words, not mine)…well, none of that mattered to Mom. When I did try to tell her that her kid’s audition on both audition days was subpar, no energy, no attempt, Mom then said: “Well, she didn’t work on her piece.”
OK..if you’re like me, you again just went “Huh?” Internally, I was thinking “Really? You’re telling me this kid has talent to spare, and you are stating this like you’re almost proud of it?”. I shrugged my shoulders when she said that and said: “well, there you go. it showed”…and that was that. She went ballistic on me. Unprofessional this, Unprofessional that…I should be fired, etc etc etc.
Guess who did not send her child in for the FIRST PAID PERFORMANCE? I had someone cover, who did an excellent job, and the girl was not missed in the slightest by the cast or anyone else.
Yup…call me unprofessional. If you are shaking your head, welcome to my world. If you think I’m the ONLY one to blame, then…I just shrugged my shoulders. Honestly.
Why did i write this? Because, yeah, I’m PO’d at her coming in shooting for bear instead of trying to have a discussion. The “not MY Child” just doesn’t cut it with me. I know I did “wrong” in what I yelled, and that I did yell…but, let’s move on. I apologized, what’s done is done…and i will be aware of it in the future.
But in schools, the “not MY child!’ syndrome hurts the child, the teacher and the rest of the class and the school community. It snowballs, because the kid is believed long before the situation is addressed, and then the teachers are the enemy, and the parents are the enemy, and the kids are the enemy… and it just snowballs.
Let’ sit down and talk like adults and treat each other like thinkers instead of trash. Going back to a previous post, this was a case of an Adult Bully.
8/11 NOTE: Holly, the first commenter, made me realize all I was, when writing this, was angry. I am NOT taking back what I said above, but tonight, when I get back from the second performance, I will write about Parents who BUILD and support on all counts, and I DO know…there are many, many, many of them out there. I shouldn’t give press to only the negative ones. I apologize if anyone who does walk the more positive path took offense. This was not directed to you.
Zero Tolerance and School Safety
